the sidewalks are watching me think about you, sparkled with broken glass. my city's still breathing, but barely (it's true), through buildings gone missing like teeth. there's one thing i have to say, so i'll be brave
there's one thing i have to say, so i'll be brave [entries|friends|calendar]
fatty mcbuttered fats

memory will rust and erode into lists of all that you gave me: a blanket, some matches, this pain in my chest. the best parts of lonely: duct-tape&soldered wires, new words for old desires, &every birthday card i threw away.
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[10 May 2010|01:04am]
[ mood | zomg ]


Tell me so I can thank you. Seriously, who was it? Was it somebody on my friends list? It must've been, I'm not "e-popular." Is it somebody in monster_barker? Please come forward so I can properly express my gratitude!

Whoever it was, thank you! I truly, genuinely appreciate it and wish there was a way for me to sound more sincere than a broadly directed blog post like this. Especially because I use the extra icons for monster_barker, and my old Generator (lol) layout gets mauled by advertisements, I am that much more grateful for this gift and I want to convey it in a more fitting manner.

Since I don't know who did it, for the time being the best I can manage is to say,

Thank you so much, anonymous donor!

I am truly grateful for the gift!

1,000|sharpened elbows in the underground.

[24 Jan 2009|07:07pm]
I've been going through old entries (and becoming increasingly embarrassed of my 14-,15-,16-,etc.-year-old self). But I found this one - that old "post anonymous opinions of me" survey.

And to be honest, looking back on it now, five years later, it's accomplished nothing significant beyond frustrating me.

I reread those comments and, with the exception of a few, nobody was honest. Everybody who did post was sucking up to me and stroking my ego, probably because at the time, that's why I posted it. Because I was, without a doubt, an attention-whore who depended on the anonymous masses of the internet to distract her from the actuality of herself and her life. I know back then I used my journal primarily to whine about how "bad" I had it (believe me, if you think I'm melodramatic now, be grateful you didn't know me back then), post pictures, fish for compliments, talk about how "awesome" I was, all those pretentious displays of pseudo-arrogance to compensate for my many insecurities.

But right now, what I really need is to hear what people honestly think of me, no matter how biting or critical or generally unpleasant.

I need to hear it.

So if any of you have anything pressing and true to say about me or want to ask me a personal question but are embarrassed, whatever, feel free.

To be honest, I'd be more apt to believe you were honest if you were hostile, so if you want to do me a favor, don't sugar coat it.

[16 Feb 2004|05:17pm]
Marriage is love.

[20 Oct 2003|12:02pm]
I stole this off somebody. I don't normally do survey-type things, but I like this.

Post anything you want in a comment. What you think of me, or a secret, a confession, a fear, a crush, an idea - anything, regardless of who or what it is about or directed to. Post anonymously.
56,000|sharpened elbows in the underground.

[13 May 2003|04:35pm]
[ mood | "better than you" or something equally pretentious ]

Comment. Keep in mind I don't add a lot of people; the whole purpose of a private journal is privacy, so if I don't know you personally or have never carried a conversation with you, it's unlikely that I'll be inclined to add you.
sharpened elbows in the underground.

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